Of Cattails and Mires

I stand here

Surrounded by hard wood

It is probably here to make us focus

For the idea presented here is lofty

I read off a sheet

Given to me as I entered

I give into the monotony

This monotony bred of ages

Worshiping in cold, stony cathedrals

I still lose focus

My mind is wandering in mine own celestial planes

I romp around and go whither I will

I come to a stream and decide to drink

But I stop while stooping

For there is a figure standing among the lilies

A figure garbed with white raiment

This person smiles, head shaking at me

And sends me on my way,

Back the way I’d come

My mind returns

To find my body seated in the car

I’m driving across the bridge downtown

Black water is lit by a tugboat light

I don’t know where I’m going

But I find him just the same

A man, a bum living in a cardboard box

Behind the fish stall on the pier

I get out, walk to him

Drawn by some otherworldly force

Hey old man

Hello, he says

I think we’re supposed to talk

Though I’m not sure why

Yes, he says, I suppose we are

Do you need anything from me old man

No but you do, his words trickle out, you need help

See boy, you are thirsty

And the river is the only drink

Wayward enough to quench that thirst

But how to drink a river old man

With this, a shell of a trinket he hands me

Now move, he points upstream

And I begin to drive

I drive along the darkened streets

Until they are dark no more

I drive until the morning hum blinds my eyes

The car pulls to the side of the road

Free of my control

I move out and find a marsh

My feet move to the edge and in

I flail at the cattails

And my ankles are cradled by mud

I come out at the river

In a burst of light and perplextion

Water past my knees

The figure is there again

Smiling my grandfather’s smile

Eyes twinkling like my first love

Hands calloused and caring like dad’s

He pulls me in and takes the shell

Fingers brushing my palm

Water pours from the shell

It covers my head and face

Running down my neck and throat

It covers me inside and out

As I choke and gasp

A thumb presses at my forehead

Makes a sign and withdraws

I smell something

That pulls memories out.

Old and long forgotten

It penetrates my being

I open my eyes and see the white robes

And through them a whole world

Filled with good and bad

People lost and people found

Past, Present, Future

They mingle and murder

Love and laugh

Through my crystal mire

I can see I must be with them

Love them and guide them

Hold them and console them

I’ll to them now

For the river is long and wide

And it beckons me on

"Of Cattails and Mires" is a piece that I'm particularly proud of. I distinctly remember writing it, too. Quite frankly, I was pissed off one night when I had to be at a church service with my Confirmation class and I started writing things that came into my head on the back of the bulletin. It was a small demonstration of resistance but I kept adding onto it when I got home. 

This one took me a while to finish. I remember that because I started writing it when I was in Confirmation in Minnesota and I didn't finish it until later that summer (2004) when my family was settled in South Dakota. I also remember showing it to my mother late at night when I was done with it. She was so moved by it and, while I felt proud of being able to have that effect, I really didn't know what I should have been feeling about being able to do that.

At any rate, reading it now, I realize how long it has been since I've started trying to articulate what I believe about Baptism and salvation and Christianity. I think my methods have changed some, but I think I'm still going along in a similar trajectory, don't you?